And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
Randomize
