Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
Come see our sink grown plant.
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
Randomize
