Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
Randomize
