yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
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