I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
Randomize
