I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
Randomize
