She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
Cover your peen. We're going out.
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
Randomize
