you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
I just told a squirrel he was gonna suffocate because he was eating a plastic bag. and i stared at him till he spit it out. Its official, I love squirrels more than people. they actually listen.
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
Randomize
