You're so nebulous sometimes
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
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