I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
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