Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
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