Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
