Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
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