out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
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