Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
you went over to those random dudes and told them you were an ordained minister and would like to bless their food. they laughed and agreed, then you said "now bow your heads in prayer" as soon as they did you grabbed a taco off their tray and bolted out the door.
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
jump out the window naked night went bad
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
Randomize