It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
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