you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
Randomize
