Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
I think a kid would responsible me up
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
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