i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
Randomize