There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
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