just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
just so you know, your brother isn't driving home wasted tonight. he is, instead, in my dorm shower screaming about rubbing his butt with my loofah; thought you would be proud
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
Randomize
