I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
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