im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
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