3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Randomize
