I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
be right there i have to get my cape
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
When are your genitals available?
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
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