So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
Randomize
