Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
Passed out watching pirates of caribbean with vodka in hand. Woke up to jenna jameson, with vodka gone.
The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
You know why nobody comes up with Sober October? Other than it's Oktoberfest? Because Sober October doesn't benefit anyone, just like your judgment isn't benefiting me. I'll talk to you in November. Unless you make up another alcoholless month.
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
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