..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
Randomize
