Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
honey bunches of taint.
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
Randomize
