Banned from zoo.
Again?
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
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