She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
Randomize
