a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
Randomize
