just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
I get so lonely sometimes I set my phone's alarm to go off every 5 minutes or so and imagine people are texting me.
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
Oh god. I finally realized why the coked out Stevie wonder was explaining the concept of movember to the McDonalds clerk. Drunk me didn't process that another month comes after Halloween... It's apparently November.
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
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