A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
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