You just made me feel so damn special
I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
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