no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
