her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
It's 1:26 and I have already found 5 fruit flies between 3 separate glasses of wine. This is supposed to be a summer problem. Fucking global warming.
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
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