I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
Randomize
