I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
Randomize
