Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
Randomize
