i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
Randomize
