We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize
