so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
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