If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
I just gargled with NyQuil
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
Randomize
