I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
Randomize