your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
My dog ate my bag of weed. Thats not the easiest call to the vet to make.
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
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