Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
Randomize
