i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Randomize
