I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
I want her autograph on my taint
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
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