my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
Randomize
