Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
I'm sitting next to this guy at the bar. I wrote him a little song in my head it goes "there is no fucking chance you're getting in my pants" gonna sing it to him after he buys me another drink.
At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
Randomize
