other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
Randomize
