1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
I just wanted to check in on you and you replied with a selfie with your Coney Island waiter and the caption "after his shift we're dropping acid together"
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
Randomize
