hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
Randomize
