i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
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