i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
You're breaking my sexual little heart
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
