Too much gin, very little bucket
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
So I have the hangover from hell, spent all night puking, and there's a septic tank truck parked outside the house literally pumping shit. You win God.
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
My night just got really weird. In a sit down stall bathroom at this nice resturaunt and this guy walks in as I rip a humongous porcelain-splitting fart. Well, I hear him stop for a second. He then opens the door to the stall next to mine, sits down and says, "player two has entered the game."
Did you win?
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
Randomize
