How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
I'm sobbing to NWA
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
Randomize
