Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
Randomize
