Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
there's paper in my vomit.
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
Randomize
