THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
Randomize
