Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
it's like heaven, but drunker
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
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