the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
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