i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
I'm always down for nudity.
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
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