i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
Last night the nurse at the ER told me that she wished all her drunk patients were like me. Then she commented on my socks...
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
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